More Reasons Why I Hate May
OK, I am starting to PMS, and therefore starting to feel negative and depressed. Here are some more reasons why I now hate the month of May:
1) Most obvious reason as I previously stated - daughter would have been born this month
2) Mother's Day - although I love and appreciate my mother more than anything in the world, this day was particularly hard this year. Had I not had the miscarriage, I obviously would have been celebrating it as an expectant mom. Instead, I had to pretend everything was fine and celebrate it with my mom, sister who is a new mom, and sister who is expecting her first baby in July. Fun day for all but me, although I pretended I was fine.
3) My birthday is in May - sounds silly to hate your birthday, but as I approach 32 in 9 days, I am forced to realize that I am not getting any younger, and I am nowhere near where I thought I would be at this point in my life. I am disappointed in myself and my place in this world. Obviously I had hoped I would be happily married with a couple of children. Oh well...
4) My anniversary (or former anniversary) is this month. I think about the vows we took and the promises we made, and I get extremely mad at what bullshit it all was. I took my vows seriously, and believed that we would stick together through the good times and the bad times, blah blah blah. Why bother taking vows if you don't mean them?
I am sure I can come up with more reasons of why I hate May, formerly my favorite month, but I am tired and depressed and need to go to bed. If I think of any more reasons, I will post tomorrow. Goodnight.
1) Most obvious reason as I previously stated - daughter would have been born this month
2) Mother's Day - although I love and appreciate my mother more than anything in the world, this day was particularly hard this year. Had I not had the miscarriage, I obviously would have been celebrating it as an expectant mom. Instead, I had to pretend everything was fine and celebrate it with my mom, sister who is a new mom, and sister who is expecting her first baby in July. Fun day for all but me, although I pretended I was fine.
3) My birthday is in May - sounds silly to hate your birthday, but as I approach 32 in 9 days, I am forced to realize that I am not getting any younger, and I am nowhere near where I thought I would be at this point in my life. I am disappointed in myself and my place in this world. Obviously I had hoped I would be happily married with a couple of children. Oh well...
4) My anniversary (or former anniversary) is this month. I think about the vows we took and the promises we made, and I get extremely mad at what bullshit it all was. I took my vows seriously, and believed that we would stick together through the good times and the bad times, blah blah blah. Why bother taking vows if you don't mean them?
I am sure I can come up with more reasons of why I hate May, formerly my favorite month, but I am tired and depressed and need to go to bed. If I think of any more reasons, I will post tomorrow. Goodnight.
posted by Lisa @ 10:58 PM
3 Comments:
At 2:38 PM,
Anonymous said…
Oh Lisa. I wish I could give you a hug right now. You've been through so much, so many disappointments. It is heart-breaking to picture your life a certain way and then have real-life be so different. You sound so very sad. But you will get through this, somehow, I promise.
As you know, I've had my own feelings of depression and hopelessness to deal with. I have found that taking antidepressants, therapy, and taking up a new hobby(golf) has helped a bit. Everyday it's a little better. I don't know if similar tactics might help you, but whatever you do I hope you find a way to feel happy again. I am there for you whenever you need it.
At 3:33 PM,
Anonymous said…
Hi Lisa, I haven't heard from you in a while and hope that you are okay. How are you?
At 9:53 PM,
Anonymous said…
Hi Lisa, I read your post which I find interesting and very informative! I was also looking for related info which I found
Some at
It's not exactly what I was looking for but it was nonetheless interesting to read.
Post a Comment
<< Home