The Year In Review

Let's take a look at the last year of my life. One year ago this month, I found out that my entire department was being eliminated as a result of a merger. I was with the company for 10 years, and they gave me a nice severance package. I really was fine with it, and was looking forward to taking some time off, which would really come in handy while doing our first IVF. I received full pay and unemployment for 8 months, which was great!

In June, my eye pressure (glaucoma) had increased, and I wanted to make sure it was taken care of before I became pregnant, so I had surgery right away. Glaucoma is something that anyone with chronic uveitis must deal with, along with cataracts. I had cataracts in both of my eyes removed years ago, so I never have to worry about that again (even when I am old!). But the glaucoma is scary, since it can rob your sight if it is not dealt with right away.

In July, I began my first IVF cycle. Things got delayed because I did not suppress on the Lupron, and the saline sono showed some sort of abnormality of my uterus. So my first cycle lasted a month and a half. Got pregnant from first IVF in September, dealt with huge amounts of stress when the HCG levels did not double properly, had a miscarriage, then had a D & C in October. Two days after D & C my husband is yelling and screaming at me because he cannot take my attitude. A couple of weeks later he decides we should split up. We make up. In December, I have a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy to determine what the hell is wrong with my uterus. It was discovered that it was not bicornuate, but septate. The septum and some endometriosis are removed. I am beside myself since had we known about the septum, it would have been removed prior to IVF and the miscarriage wouldn't have happened. Three days later my grandfather passed away. Attended funeral while bleeding profusely and feeling extremely anemic. Husband pissed at me, I forget why.

In January, we were set to start our second IVF. Have second saline sono, which shows septum is still there!!! Surprise, another surgery is needed. This is surgery #4 in total for the year, not including the egg retrieval. Surgery is a success, set to start IVF #2 in a few weeks. February - looks like husband's new job is not working out, start to pay bills from our line of credit. Husband decides he wants to separate last week. Yes, I did not make this up. We are separating. This is no surprise - every time my husband and I argue he wants a divorce. This has happened at least 10 times in the past 4 years. This time I agree. I cannot take the instability anymore. This marriage has not been a happy one, because of the circumstances we had to deal with. My husband was not even over the death of his first wife when we married, so I guess it was doomed from the start. But let me say, I did not go after him, he pursued me for 7 MONTHS before I would go out with him. I thought it was too soon, but he insisted this is what he wanted. So I cannot blame myself. No more marriage, no more infertility, no more IVF. Does this mean that I am no longer infertile? I had fit under that category because of male factor. Could I actually become pregnant naturally some day? I can honestly say I cannot even conceive of that, no pun intended. Looks like life has some more in store for me. After the past year, hopefully it can only go up from here.