Too Much Going On

I have been so busy this week, between interviews, homework, and packing. Sunday is the move, and I cannot believe how many things I have accumulated over the past four years. I am going to Florida to visit family on Tuesday for six days, and I am looking forward to doing nothing and not having to even think. The week after that, I am babysitting for my newborn nephew. The week after that, I am going to St. Maarten for my best friend's wedding. So there are some great things going on. All of this has been a lot, but amazingly, I am doing well. Don't know how I will feel on Sunday as I leave my house for the last time, but as of now I am doing OK.

Other than that, there really is nothing new. I still am very angry at my ex, and cannot believe how cold he has been. He tries to be cordial, but he treats me as if I was never his wife. It is very strange. How do you turn off feelings just like that? The only conclusion I can come to is that the feelings were never real. Marriage is based on unconditional love, and if you don't have it, it is only a matter of time before it crumbles. I took my vows seriously, and although I haven't been the happiest camper over the past four years, I would never have done anything so drastic. But I will move on and be happy again. Right now, I just want to go out with my friends on the weekends and have fun again. It's been so long since I have truly had any fun. I started to become part of my couch. If I have learned anything from this marriage, it is to always stay true to yourself. All of the answers you need are already within you, and once you start deviating from what you know is right, things will go terribly wrong. It's hard to always live by this because sometimes you want to convince yourself that something is right for you, but deep down inside, you know the truth.