Back For Good

I have not posted in a very long time, and if anyone cares, I apologize! I had the job from hell that demanded more hours than I cared to give, but I quit, and yesterday was my last day! I know, I feel like an irresponsible rebel, but my sanity is more important than a blood-sucking, stressful job that doesn't give a shit about your personal life. People still think that banker's hours are from 9 - 3, but that is a myth. I was working most days from 8 - 7 with a 15 min. break. I know many people do this without complaining, but the entire day was always filled with stress and crisises (what the hell is the proper way to pluralize crisis?). And the customers were beyond rude and abusive. I knew I had to leave when I started having nightmares every night and waking up with anxiety attacks. Definitely not worth it. And to be honest, after everything I have been through over the past few years, I just don't have it in me to deal with this kind of thing anymore. Life is way too short to spend it miserable, and I refuse to do it.

So, I am unemployed once again. What a catch I am - 32 and almost divorced, no kids, and I live with my parents! Wow, how impressive! Thank God I have a great boyfriend who doesn't care about all that stuff, and just cares that we get along great and have a great time. We see each other every day most weeks, and it truly is a best friendship with passion and laughs and everything you could want. Seems too good to be true, so maybe it won't last, but I sure hope it does. The only weird thing is that he is also 32 and not at all ready to settle down and have kids. He says maybe in a few years, but after being so focused on starting a family for the past 4 years, this is very strange to me. In a few years my fertility will be compromised, and who the hell knows what will happen. So I have been trying to prepare myself for a life without children. As much as I want children, I really don't think it will ever happen. I don't know why, but I guess you guys can relate. When you want something so badly for so long and it doesn't happen, you can't conceive of it ever happening (no pun intended). So it makes me sad that I may never have kids, but I guess if I am truly happy with my partner, maybe it won't matter??? No, that can't be true because I know many of you are truly happy with your partner and still long for children. Oh well, I guess time will tell. I have no idea where my life is going and it is very scary. But I really just want to enjoy what I have right now and have fun. Like I said, life is too short...

My baby sister had her baby boy last Sunday night. He is so cute! She had a very rough labor and delivery, and finally had to have a C-section because he was too big and just wasn't fitting through the birth canal. Adam Edward was 8 lbs. 15 oz. and 20 in. long. My poor sister is so nervous and overwhelmed since she is breast feeding, and this is one hungry baby. Now that I will have some more free time, I will help her out as much as I can. I am going to start babysitting for my other nephew again, who is now 5 months old. He is unbelievable, and loves his Jumperoo! I swear it looks like he is going to fly out of it he jumps so high. I am just going to enjoy the rest of the summer stress free, and then decide what I am going to do career wise. Thank God for my wonderful parents who love having me live with them again (rent free - they won't take anything). I have the best family in the world, and feel very lucky and happy despite going through a divorce and everything else. As you can see, I am not PMSing right now. Maybe next week will bring some other feelings!